When I discovered, after many years of wedded bliss, that my own true love was a womanizer, I accepted the news calmly with my usual self-restraint. Being of a serene, well-adjusted nature I was not too upset.
Of course, I did sew the zippers closed on all his pants.
And, yes, I did brandish my sharpest sewing shears in a threatening manner.
And I must admit I donned my pointy-toed stilettos, took careful aim and landed a perfect kick.
Then I throttled him with my strongest support panty-hose.
And finally I gouged both his eyes out, continuing down his cheeks with my nails, leaving grooves for the blood to run off.
I sank into my chair and leaned back, smirking like a Cheshire Cat as I listened to the sound of sirens drawing near.
Apparently I’m not as self-controlled as i thought I was, but I feel GOOD.